I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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