Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
