3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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