i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
