just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
