textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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