question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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