Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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