dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
