At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
