I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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