i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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