very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
