it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
