Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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