i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
