I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
