So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
