As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
