Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
