Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
