If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
do herpes really smell.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
