When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
