glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
