i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
