So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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