you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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