Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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