I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
