went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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