she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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