Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
foreskin is a definite game changer
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
