if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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