at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The power of my boobs compel you
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
