dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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