At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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