??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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