I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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