did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
