how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
