And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
