This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
