There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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