Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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