i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
