So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
