Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
