You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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