That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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