High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
