yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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