I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
