A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She's the barista slut.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
