I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
